May you live in interesting times

Bad things have happened. We were grilled by the Safeton guard. Among other things, they want to know where Dame Gold is and who burned down her mansion. A mage in Mitrik managed to get a hold of another Mage in Safeton to let them know we were working for the good guys.

Now we have to find ourselves a milf. Seriously, if something has happened to Dame I will never forgive myself.

I want to explain right now, but I think it's better to start from where I left off.

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Day four was boring. We had morning prayer, which lasted all fricking morning. Then, Bernaldo showed us all a game with peculiar deck of cards. Strangely enough, there were 52 cards in the deck, but the cards looked like nothing I had ever seen. The game was...well, it was actually interesting. It was like a cross between poker and gin rummy. After that, we had lunch under a tree while a troop of acrobats performed for us.

"I could do that," Anna said while munching on a piece of cake. She looked at Thaddeus next to her and winked at him. She finally introduced us to the guy. He seemed nice enough. He was about my height (which means he's not terribly tall, but not short either). He seemed handsome enought, but there was something really odd about him. It took me a moment to place it. His hair looked blonde at first, but it when I got closer it looked bleach blonde. Audry mentioned something about it to me later when the two went off together.

"He's part drow," she said. "I've seen it before."

Drow. Dark elves from the Underdark (that's a place so bloody far underground it takes days to get there--and dangerous enough you'll probably never get out again).

"Think he's dangerous?" Saul asked.

"Hard to say," Marc said. We watched the two together. Anna laughed at something he said, but I could tell that she was watching him closely. Not the way she normally looks at people either. She seemed to be studying him. I wondered how much of it was attraction and how much was suspicion. "Hybrids, especially those whose parentage is partly from an Underdark species, tend to be rejects from both their parent's societies. They are often self serving, but that's not always the case."

"Guess we'll have to wait and see," I said. "You guys sure Anna can handle him?"

"Looks she already is," Saul said with a grin.

That night, the bard continued his tale of Edoira. It went on and on and....

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On day five, Thaddeus arranged a series of hide-and-seek games. At first it was just for the children, but the adults got involved as well. I half-expected Anna and Thaddeus to wander off on their own, but they didn't speak to each other all day. I've prided myself on being a good hider, but someone found me every time.

That evening, we had a Ball. I mean an actual Ball, with formal attire and dancing. I felt like a goof in my tights and elaborate coat. Even the SCA would have laughed themselves silly. But in this world, I was the rave. We all were.

Marc wore what looked to me like a trench coat, only it was ordained in jewels and gems. He wore jewelry around his neck and numerous rings on his fingers. He looked unique, but he fit in perfectly.

Saul dressed in armor. It shined like a mirror. The armor, however, was actually just for show. An axe would probably pass right through it with ease. But it looked good.

Audry and Anna...well, those two would look good in a table cloth. Tonight, however, they wore these beautiful, flowing dresses. Audry looked like a Queen, including some sort of tiara that was obviously not a crown but looked expensive (Saul later told me it was a gift from Thrommel...figures). Anna looked uncomfortable in her dress. It seemed there was some extra padding in the bust area, not that she needed it (she's not small, but not huge either). She pulled and tugged at it and looked absolutely miserable.

"Ladies," I said. "You look dynamite."

That went off on to a discussion of what exactly dynamite was exactly.

"Lovely attire, milord," Arianrhod de Turiss said. She winked at me and walked away. Arian is a noble from...somewhere. I never got around to asking. She looked like she was about to fall out of her dress. She's about ten years younger than me, a red head, and was about to fall out of her very lovely dress. Rumor had it that she had fallen out of it under numerous circumstances throughout the week, always when alone with a gentleman.

"What are you waiting for?" Saul asked, and nudged me.

I shook my head. "Too easy."

He shrugged. "That's what I hear. I wonder if that's why Anna and Thaddeus are not speaking?"

The door to the ball room burst open. I instinctively reached for my sword, which was back in my room (he wanted to come, but no weapons were allowed). There were people in my way so I couldn't see who it was. The people quickly parted and I saw none other than Joseph of the Light.

"Oh great," Anna said.

Joe looked around for a moment. His eyes fell on me, and having sighted his quarry, closed in. I backed into a defensive stance and waited for him. If he tried anything I'd plant his face in the tile and see what grows there. Instead, he stopped about three feet from me.

"Buddy," he said. "You gotta hear me. Trouble's coming. Can you dig it baby?"

"What nonsense is that?" Anna said.

That "nonsense" was English. Joseph spoke to me in English.

"Dig it?" I said in English. "What is that, the 60s? The 70s?"

Joseph shrugged. "Something like that. So?"

"Kinda old isn't it."

"Why, what year do you come from?"

"2005."

Joseph whistled. "Not bad, baby. You know, I met a cat from 2020. The boy could tell you stories."

"Wait a minute," I said, stepping toward him. Everyone had gathered around us, wondering what we were saying. "How many people have you met from our world?"

He held up his hand with four fingers extended. "Including you. Say, do they have flying cars yet?"

I was about to ask if he had asked the 2020 guy and what he said, but a commotion in the crowd interrupted us. "Joseph!" The voice sounded like the Captain of Dame's personal guard. "I told you not to come back!"

"Gotta hit the road," Joseph said to me. He went toward an open window. "Meet me tomorrow morning. By that new statue. Dig?"

"Yeah," I said. "Dig."

Joseph turned and dove through the window. The guards poured at the main door. Dame herself appeared and begged forgiveness for the disturbance. Music started up once more and people hesitantly began to dance. I stood and stared at the open window.

"I take it he is from your world," Audry said.

I nodded. "Yeah."

I felt a hand on mine. I didn't realize my hands were shaking. Joseph rattled me pretty good, but I didn't know why. Anna looked up at me. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," I said.

"Fine enough to dance?" she said. She tugged me out to the dance floor.

"Wha-? Oh God, I can't dance."

"Sure you can," she said. "It's easy."

"Yeah, I knew a heart surgeon once. He said it was easy too."

Seriously, I can't dance. But I had little choice. Fortunately, Anna led. As on Earth, it's not normal for women to lead when dancing, so we got a lot of notice. After a little bit, we did okay. Everyone burst out laughing when she dipped me. In the end, we were all laughing. I had forgotten about Joseph, which I guess was the point. Anna knows people. She knows how to make you feel better.

Special girl.

That night I slept like a log. I had forgotten about Joseph until breakfast. It was quick, consisting of bread and some bacon (the banquet tonight was supposed to be huge). Marc mentioned something about the ceremony later on. Derish was going to conduct some sort of prayer and church service.

"Can't make it," I said.

Audry eyed me carefully. You don't tell a Paladin you can't go to church, but I just did. "I can't," I said. I looked around the table. Everyone else ate quietly and talked amongst themselves, ignoring us. "I have to meet Joseph."

"Who, the crazy guy?" Anna said. "What do you want to meet him for?"

"He's from Earth," I said. "My home. He wanted me to meet him."

"Could be dangerous," Saul said.

"Maybe," I said, "but I don't think so. Look, he might be a little crazy, but he kept saying that trouble was coming."

"How exactly would he know?" Marc said.

"He knew I was from Earth," I said. "I asked around after he jumped through the window. People were commenting on the weird language he spoke. People have seen him around these parts but no one ever heard him speak that way. I think he knew who I was and spoke in English because he knew I would understand."

"Well, be careful," Audry said. "You're taking Kan with you?"

I nodded. "He's sulking in my room right now. He thinks it's unfair that he can't go everywhere I do simply because he's a sword."

"He's getting lonely?" Anna asked. "Awww."

"Speaking of lonely," I said. "Where's your new friend?"

"Good question," Anna said. "He up and disappeared."

"Oh?" Marc raised an eyebrow. "Just like that?"

"No idea where he went?" Saul asked.

"Nope," Anna said. "Strange, huh?"

Yeah. Strange.

-----------------

After breakfast I grabbed Kan and headed to town. During Thaddeus's hide and seek game I found a back way out of the estates. I didn't want to tip anyone off that I was leaving if I could help it. The gang went to talk to Dame about both Joseph and Thaddeus. Hopefully, she wouldn't try to dodge them this time. It's about time we stopped partying and started working.

The hedge opening was behind a tall tree. The tree was big enough that it would cover both my exit through the hedge and my climb over the wall. I did both with ease. I reminded myself to let Dame know about that little problem when I got back. For now, though, I had to find a crazy man.