A sword by any other name....

As I have mentioned before, my sword can talk. I found it--or him, rather--in the elemental nodes of the elemental temple. It was lying near a skeleton (the previous owner, I assumed).

"So who was that guy," I asked it one day.

"He was a great and powerful paladin in service of Saint Cuthbert," the sword said. "I would hope you could do as well."

"Well, I'm doing okay so far. Don't you think?"

The sword said nothing, which said a lot in and of itself.

The mayor came to us yesterday and asked if we would participate in a ceremony before we left town. Basically, he wanted to give us the keys to the town.

"A true warrior does not fight for fame," my sword said. "He fights for the welfare of the people."

"I agree," I said, "but it would mean a lot to everyone in town. That's good for the welfare of the people, isn't it?"

He made a gesture in my mind that I associated with a shrug. "Very well," he sighed. "What is required?"

The Mayor went over the ceremony with us, much of which was pretty routine. He would introduce us and give us a medal in the form of a key (how quaint). The subject of names came up, and that's when we realized something.

"What is your name anyway?" Anna asked my sword.

"Hey, yeah," I said. "What do we call you?"

"It never occurred to you until now to ask me such a thing?" the sword said.

"Well," I said, "the idea of a talking sword has weirded me out a little bit. I guess it never occurred to me."

"Weirded you out?" the sword said. "I'm not quite sure how to take that."

"As a compliment, I'm sure," Audry said. "You are quite unique after all."

"I suppose," the sword said.

"So, what is your name?" Anna asked.

The sword shrugged in my mind once more. "I'm afraid I don't have one."

"You don't?" Saul said. "What kind of sword are you?"

"A good one," he said. "Not to mention sharp."

"I'm terrified," Saul said. "Seriously, you need a name."

"A name would be helpful, sir," the Mayor said. "It would be better than simply calling you 'the sword.'"

"An excellent point, Mr. Mayor," Marc said. He regarded my sword that I had laid out on the table. "Perhaps you should decide."

"Ah," the sword said. "Well, I'm not sure what kind of name I should choose."

"Yeah," I said. "Every good sword needs a name. Like Sting, or Stormbringer. Or Excalibur."

"What dreadful names," the sword said.

We went through a list of names, all of which the sword hated. At one point he wanted to give up, but when Anna suggested names like "Cutter" and "Pokey" the sword realized he would have to come up with something or be stuck with a silly nickname.

Finally I suggested the name Kantos Kan. I didn't think he'd take it, even though it seemed appropriate to me.

"Interesting," the sword said. "I like it. Kantos Kan it is. Where did you get it?"

That was an interesting discussion. After reading journal excerpts to them, everyone knew John Carter was not my real name. I explained where the name came from and who Kantos Kan was. It had been awhile since I read any Burroughs.

"An appropriate name," Marc said when I was finished. "For both of you."

"If you don't mind me asking," Audry said, "what is your real name?"

I told them.

"Eh, John Carter sounds better," Anna said.

--------------------

The ceremony went well. We wore our medals proudly. Frankly, I think this was just as much of an honor as getting knighted. Kantos Kan made me hold him high as he gave a speech. I don't remember much of it, only that my arm got tired. The crowd, however, was enthralled. It probably had more to do with the fact that it was a sword giving a speech than the speech itself.

Then we partied hard. The sword was the only one sober, even though I poured numerous drinks on him (much to his outrage). I remember dancing with this beautiful brunette and playing air guitar (again) on a table. Look, if you are an American male, you've played air guitar. Don't deny it, you've done it.

Someone helped up the stairs to my room. I think it was Audry. I awoke the next morning with a smashing headache. I gotta stop doing this.

That was a couple of days ago. Lately, we have been up at Hommlet Keep (the name of Burne's and Rufus's little castle here in town). There is still some construction that needs to be done and I've been supervising. Yes, supervising. One nice thing about an advanced education--the math. The idea of the Pythagorean theorem just baffles everyone. I remember my Algebra and that's about it, but it's far more than most people have. In short, it's made me a temporary engineer until the real one arrives from Greyhawk in the next few days.

Burne and Rufus are still missing and presumed dead. At least, they weren't at the elemental temple and we found no evidence of them there. For now, Verbobonc troops are being stationed at Hommlet Keep and so we need to get that fixed right away, even though the weather is rotten. Hopefully in the next few days we can leave for Dame Gold's home. This festival thing we're attending is said to last a week.

Marc is getting his affairs in order. He has sold his cottage, for very little money (the guys loaded, so it's not like he needs it). He has lived in Hommlet for a few years. I guess he understands now that our responsibilities are taking us elsewhere.

Audry has been spending time at the church of Saint Cuthbert, and from time to time she helps Saul in his quest to find a new merchant for the local store. The traders that were there over a year ago turned out to be, well, traitors. Hommlet is generally considered to be out in the boonies, so it's hard to get merchants in that area. As it turns out, a merchant from Greyhawk got turned around on his way to Verbobonc. He was hoping to sell his wares there. Saul is trying to find people to buy his wares here. We'll see how it works out.

Anna is gone much of the time. She wanders the wilds, keeping an eye on what's new. The Dwarves in the Flinty Hills have actually managed to push back the invaders, who have retreated to the depths of Celene. It seems that after the collapse of the elemental temple, their plans for conquest have taken a hit. Anna says she has not seen a single enemy patrol. The moathouse, on the other hand, is not so deserted. More Verbobonc troops have taken up residence there, along with some of Burne's Badgers (that would be the Hommlet militia). They still have some cleaning up to do, but eventually they can make the moathouse a permanent outpost.

Yeah, Hommlet's a nice town these days. Hopefully it'll stay that way. Later tonight we're going to meet and decide when to head out. I have a feeling it'll be soon. No matter. I'm sure we'll end up back in Hommlet sooner or later, for one reason or another.