Boat ride

I'm not a big fan of boats. Yeah, I've ridden in them before, but I don't like them. Especially when we're at sea.

Dame Gold had this great idea of a mock sea battle. Early this morning all of boarded two barges and sailed to some point about five hundred yards off shore. Further out were several warships. Rather, they were ordinary sailing vessels decked out as warships. About mid morning the battle was on.

Five warships attacked each other, firing cannons (gunpowder, no ammo), firing spells (illusions, not actual artillery spells), and ramming each other. That last one got interesting. Repeatedly, ships sailed past one another missing each other by only a few feet. This went on and on until finally two ships collided. The collision was perfect. Those on the attacking ship stayed aft to avoid getting hurt. People on the ramming ship dove overboard before the collision. The sound was terrific. Beams of wood thicker than my head splintered and rent themselves into toothpicks. The ship nearly broke into. It sank almost instantly.

Wizards on a nearby boat were ready with airy water spells and water breathing in case someone didn't swim as well as they said they could. But, thankfully, their services were not needed. The survivors were brought aboard other ships and examined by clerics. I later discovered that a couple of people had broken their fingers and one guy broke his collar bone. Healing spells fixed them quick.

The mock sea battle went on for about an hour. In the end, only one ship remained...but not for long. Some distance from the ship, a man climbed up on to a thick piece of drift wood. He managed to stand somehow, which told me this was probably one of the props left out there for the grand finale. He steadied himself, and began moving his body in semi-complex gyrations. In seconds, a loud crack like a whip filled the air. A bright flash appeared from the man's fingers and connected with the surviving ship. Wood splintered as the lightning bolt whipped through the ship. The crew abandoned their ship as it sank beneath the waves. The show was over.

Everyone applauded enthusiastically. It was a pretty intense show. George Lucas would have been proud.

After the show, we were served rather exotic food. While there were some vegetables, much of it was seafood. Did I mention I hated the sea? A couple of hours on a barge at sea is not enough for me to find my sea legs. I thought I was doing okay until I saw the buffet. My stomach rumbled. Breakfast was going to come out into the open air. The railing was several feet away. I didn't know if I could make it.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. An electric shock went through me without any pain. My stomach settled instantly. I felt much better. In fact, I felt a little hungry.

I turned. His Excellency, Derish of Safeton nodded. "Better?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

He shrugged. "I have been on countless ships over the years. I have yet to find my own sea legs."

Derish is okay in my book.

As we ate, the barges made their way back to the docks. Rowers below deck gently guided the barge. A guy on a big drum kept them rowing in unison. It was just like in that TV show Shogun.

At the docks I had to struggle to keep from kissing the ground. Carriages took us back to the manor where we listened to Jayl the Gnarley (snicker) recite part two of his massive poem to Edoira. This part was a tad longer, and this time around Anna wasn't the only one nodding off.

When it was done we had dinner. It consisted of another buffet and a whole lot of drinking. Anna, I noticed, was not with her new friend Thaddeus (who was nowhere to be found). Instead, she was with a human male who looked like she was old enough to be her grandfather, even though she's an elf.

"She's not very picky, is she?" I said.

Saul shrugged. "No, she isn't. She and I were together, after all."

Later that evening, Katrina and Jack Knob were had another drinking contest. Everyone was drinking, everyone except us. Well, we weren't drinking that much anyway. Good thing too.

Off in a corner, Black Kerr talked to herself. Kerr is an alchemist. It is said she makes very exotic potions. It's also said she sampled too many of her own potions. It is normal for her to carry on conversations with thin air. It's unsettling, to say the least. Derish stood next to me and shivered as we watched her chew out a curtain.

"She's nuts," I said.

"Perhaps," Derish said, "but I wonder."

"Wonder what?"

"I saw her yesterday," he said. "She was speaking to a shrub out in the garden."

"Sounds normal for her," I said.

"Yes, but," and Derish cleared his throat before continuing, "but the shrub answered back."

Derish is a cleric, and pretty powerful one at that. He's not the kind of guy to get shook up by a strange ol' bitty talking to herself. Later on, I brought it up with the gang.

"Interesting," Marc said. "Tomorrow we should ask Derish which shrub."

"What, you think the shrub's holding out?" Anna asked.

"Certainly not," Marc said. "But there might be some remnant of what she was talking to."

"Are you suggesting she is not as disturbed as she appears?" Audry asked.

"I hope not," Saul said, "because I really don't want to know what she was talking to."

We saw very little of Dame Gold today. It was like she avoided us on purpose. So far, our mission to Safeton wasn't going very well. Either we were missing a lot or nothing was going to happen.

Or everything was building up for a dramatic finale.