Who the heck is this Edoira anyway?

Today wasn't quite as tedious as yesterday.

A fleet of carriages took all of us into downtown Safeton. I use the term "downtown" lightly. It's like saying downtown Evergreen (it's in Colorado, look it up). The buildings seemed fairly well maintained and there were no signs of beggars or serfs (an all to common sight in many cities in this world). The carriages looped around a garden somewhere in the center of town. When they stopped, a young boy opened the door to our carriage. He looked like...well, I suppose the most appropriate word would have been a "fop." At any rate, if he dressed that way back on Earth he would either have been going to the Ren Festival or getting his butt kicked.

I took a quickly look around. I didn't see the "prophet" guy anywhere. I didn't know what made me more nervous, the fact that he seemed to know something about Earth or that what little he know only had to do with the 70s.

The dirt was fresh as if it had only recently been dug, but the trees were huge. A cleric no doubt used magic to cause the plants to grow quickly just for this occasion. I recognized a few flowers, including roses and orchids. What I know about gardening I could fit on a postage stamp, if I could find one, but I knew enough to know that many of the plants and flowers present did not normally grow in the same environment. The only way to keep this place going would be with magic. That meant the local clerics would take a liking to this place (and turn it into a holy shrine of some kind) or this whole place would rot once the party ended. Likely, it would be the former.

We walked along a cobblestone path, led by signs that directed us to the center of the garden. After a bit of walking, we arrived. Small benches circled a tall...something in the center of the garden. Whatever it was, it was covered in a beige tarp. I imagined it was a statue of some kind (someone mentioned something about it). A local artist named Mitgan fashioned it and no one, not even his patron Dame Gold, had any idea what it looked like.

We were served wine and cheese. It made me feel French. It wasn't too bad, but I'm not much of a wine person. Anna sniffed at hers and pretended to drink. When she thought no one was looking, she poured it into a rose bush. That small amount of wine probably cost as much as ten rose bushes.

After a short while, a young man stepped before a small podium. His voice carried easily across the garden. At second glance, I realized he not a young man, but a full grown elf. He looked like he was fifteen, but he may have been two hundred years old for all I knew.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he said. "Please be seated. We are about to begin."

We crowded on to the benches in no particular fashion. I saw a lot of familiar faces, but I didn't have the opportunity to get to know them, at least not yet. As soon as we were seated, Mitgan himself stepped up to the podium. He cleared his throat and began to speak. After several minutes, I came to a conclusion that I didn't think I would share with anyone until later. Anna had no such compunctions.

"This guys worse than that Derish guy," she said.

"Shh," Audry whispered.

Anna shrugged and let Mitgan continue. His speech, which had something to do with Edoira (she was either a goddess or a very important person, or maybe it was a tree--I don't know). Thankfully, it didn't go on very long. Mitgan stepped away from the podium and went to his tarped creation. He grabbed the tarp and with a single yank revealed it.

"Edoira, I presume," Saul whispered to me.

The statue was of a beautiful woman. Her ears were pointed, suggesting she was an elf. But her overall build was much stockier, like that of a female dwarf (except she didn't have a beard, for which I was relieved). The statue was actually pretty detailed. I could barely see her nipples through the cloth covering and I could see her toenails under her sandals clearly. She even had a few moles here and there. If it weren't for the fact everything was the color of stone, one might think this was an actual one who had been frozen by magic.

Everyone clapped politely. Dame Gold commented on its beauty and perfection, and a bunch of other stuff. This was followed by Jayl the Gnarley (still have to snicker at that) who began part one of a multi-part poem about Edoira. It went on for about an hour. Suddenly, I found myself wishing for more wine and cheese. I normally like to listen to Jayl sing or recite poetry, but this Edoira chick was getting on my nerves. Jayl went on about how she displeased the gods with her love of...oh, something or another. It was all I could do to keep from nodding off.

After it was over, we had a banquet. We talked and mingled. Everyone seemed to keep to their own little groups. Anna was the social butterfly as usual, but she spent most of her time with that Thaddeus creep. Marc started up a conversation with one Randallson, who turned out to be another mage.

Later that afternoon, the carriages took us back to the manor house where we had yet another party. This one was called a moon-rise party, in which we drank and talked and generally carried on with whatever suited our fancy. Two guests, one large woman known as "Burly" Katrina and some dwarf named Jack Knob boasted back and forth about who could drink the most, and then proceeded to prove it. Every party has at least someone like this.

Finally, the evening came. We watched the moon rise while Katrina and Jack drank themselves into oblivion. The evening ended shortly after that and we retired.

All the while, I kept thinking, what the hells are we doing here anyway?

You see, Dame hasn't talked to us yet about her problems. I tried talking to her while she was alone, but she was so rarely alone for very long. She would nod at my questions, but then politely excuse herself.

"Same thing here," Saul said when I asked everyone about it. We gathered in the girls' room in the mansion to talk. Marc had put up some sort of spell that would prevent anyone from eavesdropping, be it through magical or conventional means. I said he was sweeping for bugs, but Marc insisted that that was the job of the maids. Besides, it was unlikely we would find vermin in a place like this.

You ever seen Farscape? Sometimes I feel like John Crichton.

"She might wish to wait until the party is finished," Marc said.

"Then why invite us to the party?" Audry said. "Unless she wishes us to keep an eye on the guests."

"She could've said something," I said. "Toss us a bone or something."

Anna raised an eyebrow at my comment but didn't ask. "Well, there could be psions around and she might not want to tip them off to anything."

"But a psion could read our minds and know anyway," Marc said.

"Unless they didn't know who to look out for," I said. "All the guests come from all over. That's assuming someone's reading minds anyway."

Marc nodded. "Good point. There is no reason to use psions. Someone with a careful eye could do the same."

"And assuming that is the case," Audry said, "what would they do if they discovered we were here to help Dame Gold with...this problem?"

"Knock us off," Anna said. "Or Dame."

"Okay, so what do we do?" I asked.

"Keep an eye out," Saul said. "Watch for anything suspicious or anything out of the ordinary."

"And particularly keep an eye on Dame Gold herself," Marc said. "I'm sure she keeps only her most trusted guards and advisors nearby during the night. During the day, one of us should always keep her in eyesight."

"Agreed," Audry said. "I do not recall any new faces among her personal security, but it is a prudent idea. We should also try to learn more about her guests."

"That's what I'm doing," Anna said. "Speaking of which...."

Audry groaned. "Really, Anna. It's inappropriate for you to be alone with this...."

"Rogue?" Anna shrugged. "Yeah, well I have my reasons."

"I assume you are referring to this Thaddeus character," Marc said.

"Oh," Saul said. "I heard it said he is from Bissel."

Anna nodded. "Yeah, yeah. He's from Bissel but he has a Greyhawk accent. He has a criminal record no one knows anything about." She shook her head. "C'mon. Rogues are rogues, I admit it. But rogues from Greyhawk are a unique breed."

"So he is lying," Audry said. "That makes him dangerous."

"To whom?" Saul asked. "Not just anyone can get an invitation to see Dame Gold."

"And why a sordid past?" Marc added. "Why not a clear one?"

"Maybe he's hiding in plain sight?" I said. "Maybe."

"Look guys, I'll be careful," Anna said. She stood. "Hey, it's me."

I thought of a particular fictional character who had his own frisbee-spaceship who said the same thing. Why couldn't I go there? Man, what I wouldn't give to go through hyperspace, even though it's not like dusting crops.

"Be careful," Audry said as Anna went to the door. "Please, Anna. We know far to little."

She nodded absently as she went to the door. "Yes mother." She opened the door and winked at us. "Don't wait up."

Marc waited until the door closed before speaking up. "You know she does this just to irritate us."

"She'll be fine," Saul said. He said it, but I could tell he was still worried.

Marc, Saul, and I went back to our room, leaving Audry alone. Marc protested, but Audry wouldn't hear of it. She didn't think it was appropriate for one of us to be in the same room with her. Never mind that all of us slept within a few feet of each other when we camped outside. There were good locks on the door, so I tried to put it out of my mind.

As usual, I couldn't sleep. Yeah, I worry about her. She's a good friend. I worry about all of them. I guess these guys have more experience at being adventurers, which is why they're sleeping like babies.

I really hope I'm worrying over nothing.