Bad news

I had a splinter in my butt. I just knew it.

The oak table and benches needed sanding, though I doubted there was a Home Depot around where I could get a sander, much less decent sandpaper. The boards in the floor and walls were thick. I wondered how much sound could penetrate them. The room was relatively clean--probably spotless by this world's standards. Looking at the dirt in the corners and the occasional beetle that scurried in and out of the knot holes in the walls, a part of me felt that all of this was a terrible mistake. No more internet, no more TV or mp3s. Never again would I hear Beethoven or Bach, or Linkin Park for that matter. From now on it was huddling around the fire for warmth in the winter and sweating like a pig in the summer. But the fire was warm, even though it was several feet away. And the food smelled delicious.

If only we could eat it.

"...and we give thanks for this bounty, and for your guidance..."

Audry's prayer kept going. And going.

I glanced at Anna. She frowns and glares at Audry. She's about to say something when the universal word for the end of a prayer is uttered from Audry's lips.

"Amen."

We dug in with a vengeance. I was starving. I didn't realize how long it had been since I had eaten. Venison, potatoes, bread...it was too good to be true.

A few bites later, I realized that spices were probably a rarity in this world. I had salt, pepper, and bouillon cubes in my gear back at Marc's home, but it wasn't doing me any good at there. After a few more bites I forgot about the bland food. I had to get used to it sooner or later. As I helped myself to some potatoes, the door to the room opened.

"Hello my friends!"

The man was about five and a half feet tall. His hair dark was cut into the familiar bowl shape found in any medieval era history book. He straightened out his shirt, making sure it covered his belly. He was overweight, but not grossly overweight. "What? Aren't you glad to see your old friend Ostler?"

Audry stood and went to him. "Ostler, it is always good to see you." She embraced him. "And how is Mrs. Gundigoot and the children?"

"Oh, just fine," Ostler said. He looked at the rest of us. "And Saul. The prodigal son returns."

"It's been a while, Ostler," Saul said. "I'm glad to see the Inn has endured."

"Oh, we've endured a lot over the years," Ostler said. "The Inn of the Welcome Wench is not going anywhere."

I couldn't believe it. The Ostler Gundigoot. To the old D&D geeks of my world he was practically a legend. The fanboy in me wanted to get his autograph. The rational side new that I'd then have to explain how I knew who he was, or what this place was. Or how I knew the layout of this town.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about that name," Audry said. She stepped aside and gestured for Ostler to join us.

"Yeah," Anna said. "You know, us wenches might take offense at it." She winked. "Well, maybe not all of us."

"Ah, well I suppose if the wife brings it up I may have to change it. Oh my, it looks like I missed grace."

"Wonder how that happened," Marc asked.

Ostler grinned as he sat down and reached for a piece of venison. Audry sat next to him. I could see the muscles under Ostler's sleeves. His arms were heavily muscled. His whole appearance was deceptive. He looked out of shape, and in some ways he was, but he was not helpless by any means.

"Burne and Rufus," Anna said, sitting down, "are late as usual."

"I'm afraid they won't make it," Ostler said. "They're busy these days. What with the keep and all."

"And the attacks," Marc said. "Is that what this was about?"

"I'm afraid so," Ostler said. "This last attack was not random. The homes hit were hit for a reason."

Saul filled his wooden plate. A wooden plate. I guess porcelain is a luxury. I'd have to get used to a lot of things. At least the utensils were metal. Rusty metal, but metal. Audry had mostly vegetables on her plate, though she had some venison. Marc and Anna had more normal portions, at least compared to Saul and I. I had completely forgotten about the lack of spices. It was actually pretty damn good.

"I was wondering about that," Marc said. "How many were taken out?"

"All but two," Ostler said.

"All what?" I asked.

"Supply stores," Ostler said. "For, uh, emergencies, you might say."

"Weapons," Saul whispered to me.

Anna started to say something, but Audry silenced her with a gesture. Anna frowned.

"Indeed," Ostler said. "We started gathering them after the attacks began in earnest a few months ago. It seems some locations were hit twice by various kinds of artillery magic."

"They knew," Audry said. "That's disturbing on a number of levels."

"How many knew of these caches?" Marc asked.

"Not many," Ostler said. "Burne and Rufus did some investigations, but to no avail. Regardless, there is no question. Someone is on the inside."

"Lovely," Anna said. "Do we have any ideas at all?"

"I do," Ostler said. "About six months ago we had a new trading post open up."

Memories of the old adventure flooded back to me. Those traders were also traitors. They worked for the moathouse, which worked for.....

"And you suspect them?" Marc said. "I've met them. They seem odd, but they are friendly enough."

"They keep staring at my breasts," Anna said.

"Wonder why that is," Saul muttered.

Anna either didn't hear or ignored him. "Still, they've got good stuff. And they, uh...well...."

"Can get special items?" Marc said. "Yes, that is true as well. Prices are fairly reasonable as well."

"Almost too reasonable," Anna said. "They can't be making too much money."

"Like that matters," Saul said. "Have Burne and Rufus investigated them as well?"

"They have their people working on it in Verbobonc," Ostler said. "Checking references and so forth. No word yet, though."

"If you're right about them," Audry said, "you might not hear from their people again."

"A disturbing thought, my dear," Ostler said. "Regardless, we do not have the time."

"You think these traders know about the rest of the caches?" I asked.

"That's the question," Ostler said. "If they do, it's not through us. If they do know, then they can tell us who told them."

"Kinda doubt they'll just tell us," Anna said.

"Agreed," Ostler said. "However, we seem to be in a fortuitous situation. We know someone whom the traders do not know." He looked at me, along with everyone else.

"Oh," I said. "Is that why I was invited?"

"No, my friend," Saul said. "But if you wish to help, this would be one way to do it."

"It could be dangerous," Marc said.

"Especially if they are the bad guys," Anna said.

"And if they are," Audry said, "I think it can be safe to say there will be more."

"And if you had a weapon they would become suspicious," Ostler said. "Thus a weapon is out of the question."

"And you have to be alone," Saul said. "If they have someone on the inside they would probably know who is involved."

"To sum up," Anna said, "you'll be facing potential traitors unarmed who may or may not have more guards. All of whom will be armed." She winked. "No problem, right?"

I smiled bitterly. I didn't have all of the details, but what I had so far didn't sound very safe. Still, I did say I would help.

I thought about the burned out farms outside, and how many more might be burned out if nothing was done. It all sounded iffy, but if I wanted them to trust me I had to trust them.

"Oh, hell," I said. "What exactly is it you need me to do?"

"Ah," Ostler said, taking a drink of wine. "That's where it gets interesting."