In the Inn

I saw another burned farm on the way to the inn. The farmer and his families lived out of a small tent while they rebuilt their homes. And they didn't toil alone. Other towns folk helped them. As in my world, people in small towns help each other under no conditions. Part of me wanted to run over and help them. Unfortunately, I had no doubt that cities here were the same as cities back home.

The Inn was not what I expected. Instead of a dilapidated old structure I saw a well maintained edifice, better maintained then many buildings back on Earth. The freshly white washed fence gleamed in the sunlight, as if it had been painted only hours before. The sign showed, of all things, a wench. She smiled as she carried a tray of ale mugs, welcoming all passers by.

Well, that explains the name of the inn.

The porch creaked as we walked to the front door. Their boots made for heavy steps, while my sneakers gave barely a whisper. They didn't seem to notice.

The door creaked open, and a dozen smells overwhelmed me. Strong ale, cooked food of all kinds, human sweat--it nearly drove me away. I held my breath and strode forward. A cacophony assaulted me along with the smells. Boisterous people became more boisterous as they continued to drink ale. Smoke from what I assumed was pipe weed filled the air, mingling with smoke from a roaring fire that seemed to me would take down the whole structure. I coughed as I followed Marc and Saul through the crowd.

The men seemed gruff and angry, but when I made eye contact the nodded politely. They looked worn down and tired, but not tired enough to keep them from enjoying themselves. I saw no fighting or evidence of aggression between any of them. Everyone knows everyone in a small town, and its hard to start a fight with someone when they provide grain to the town, or repair your wagon, or brew your beer.

The only women were the serving wenches. You would never have found them serving drinks in most bars. Most were perhaps twenty pounds over weight. Back on Earth the rail thin, rib-sporting, bleach-blonde ski bunnies were considered attractive. These women would have been considered not only unattractive, but unhealthy by many health nuts. Here, it was the norm. Staring at those plump breasts--which I still have not gotten used to--makes me think the people on Earth are a little too up tight.

By the time we reached the stairs, I decided I could get to like this place. Even if it did have dragons, in spite of the smells and the danger of bandits (which didn't seem to hamper the party at all).

Each stair bent as I stepped on it, convincing me that I would never make it to the top. I did make it, and I was relieved the second floor was as sturdy as the first floor. Saul and I followed Marc down a narrow hall. Muffled voices spilled out of a common room near the top of the stairs. Closed doors lined the rest of the hall, each leading to private rooms. The noise from below could barely be heard. I wondered what kind of construction in such a world allowed that, and then I wondered if perhaps it was magic that did the trick.

Marc stopped at one door and knocked three times. The door creaked open.

"Eh? That you, Marc?"

At first I didn't see the source of the high pitched voice. The door opened further, and I saw a woman who stood five feet high. For a moment I thought she was a young child, until I saw her firm breasts. I doubted they had push-up bras on this world. She had her brown hair tied back into a single braid, revealing her pointed ears. Two elves in one day, I thought. She wore leather pants and a dark shirt with varying colors--it looked like good camouflage for night time. She looked up at Marc with large, brown eyes.

"About time. Did big boy show up finally?" She finally noticed Saul standing there. She gave a short squeal and then hugged him tightly. He returned the hug, picking her up in the air.

"You are late," she said. "Again."

"Well, the water clock doesn't fit in my pack," Saul said. He put her down and held her at arms length. "Staying out of trouble?"

"Of course! What kind of girl do you think...." She trailed off when she saw me. "Uh, you're making new friends, I see."

Saul glanced back at me. "And this is bad?"

"That depends," she said. She put her hands on her hips as she looked up at me. Her small stature and near child-like voice made her seem like a child, but the shape of her body made it perfectly clear she was a full grown woman.

Hey, I'm a guy. I notice these kinds of things.

"Anna, I'd like you to meet John Carter," Saul said. "John, Anna Liveoak."

"Pleased to meet you," I said.

"Yes, most men are," she said. "You men know better than this. That last thing we need these days are strangers." She wagged a finger at Marc. "You especially know this."

"John is a unique case," Marc said. "It's a story you might find interesting."

"Oh, I've heard stories before," Anna said. "Sometimes they are just that." She glared at me. "Stories."

"Look, I'm not a bad guy," I said. "I'm harmless, really."

"If I had a gold piece for every man who said that and that tried to put a hand up my shirt, I would be a rich girl."

Can't blame them for trying. "You know, I'm very new to these parts. If there are people out there you don't trust chances are I don't know them, even if they live next door."

"Maybe you should hear his story first," Marc said.

Anna looked me over thoroughly. She raised an eyebrow. My pants, my poncho, my boots--I was surprised it hadn't raised more eyebrows as we came up here.

"He is pretty conspicuous," she said. "Maybe he's...oh all right." She tapped Saul on his chest. "He is your responsibility if he gets out of hand." She turned and locked her door. Putting the key in her pocket, she continued almost to the end of the hall. She knocked three times and then two times on a door. After a moment, it opened just wide enough for someone to look out.

"It's us," Anna said, and glanced back at me. "Plus one more."

The door opened further. A young, blonde woman stood in the entry way, looking at us. She wore what looked like plain clothes, but they were in very new condition. Her hair on one side was tucked behind her ear. She was human, about my size, very slim...and very beautiful.

A world full of beautiful women. The only way things could be better was if there were no dragons. Or bandits. Or a number of other beasties that I could imagine on an intellectual level but could not truly appreciate until they stood before me ready to disembowel me.

"Glad to see you made it back in one piece," she said to Saul.

"Likewise," Saul said. He started to move toward her as if to hug her as he did Anna, but she was too busy looking at me.

"I'm sure Anna made it clear that strangers are probably a bad idea," the woman said.

Marc looked at me briefly. "Well, I can understand your hesitation, but--"

"But nothing," she said. "If the Nyrondese militia...." She stopped, looking me up and down. My clothes, my poncho--no one was more out of place than me. If only she could have seen my pack, which I left back at Marc's. Hell, if they could all see what I had in there.

"You are a strange one, aren't you?" she said at length.

"My name is John," I said. "John Carter. I take it you are Audry?"

"That depends on who is asking," she said. She opened the door all the way. "Well, everyone come on in. If you're going to explain yourselves we might as well be comfortable."

She invited us in. Her room was simple. A bed, a table with three chairs, and a window. Anna and Audry sat on the bed, while Saul pulled out chairs for the rest of us. We sat opposite each other, staring at each other like sophomore boys and girls at the high school dance.

"Ah, different rooms?" Saul asked. "You two don't enjoy each other's company?"

"We are incognito," Anna said. "This way we don't look like we know each other."

"Everyone in town knows us," Saul said.

"But not strangers," Marc said. "It's a simple precaution. If anyone asks they are sent to Anna's room."

"Where they get a nasty surprise," Anna said. "By the way, it's a bad idea to go in there. Lots of nasty surprises."

"Traps?" I asked. She only glared at me. "Traps. Okay, I'll watch my step."

"All right," Audry said. "You'll have to understand I'm a little wary of strangers."

"I understand," I said. "I wish I knew how to prove that I'm trustworthy."

"Well," Anna said. "How about you start with why you are here."

Marc and Saul looked at me. I took a deep breath and began my story.